May 2nd, 2010 - Finding My Sister

I know, I know that I'm a TAD late in posting this :P. Although I started writing a draft at the time and had thought about posting it but, well, I just kind of put it on the back burner (procrastination at its finest!) wanting to see how it goes before actually publishing.

A BFF suggested Ancestry.com to try and find out about my birth father's family which turned out a bust since apparently, he was an only child and there are tons of James Jacksons (his father) out there. However, as I entered my brothers and sisters names I noticed a Classmates.com ad that told me Terry was a member of a High School in California.

At first I thought, "Uh huh. Cookies." But then I thought, "Why not? The year is about right. Maybe it's not just a "hook." Surely there can't be another person with the same name." So I clicked.

I couldn't quite believe it. There she was. A picture of her. For a few minutes, I just sat and stared at the picture. There was no doubt it was her. Grandpa's ears, her crooked smile and gapped front teeth... But just to make sure, I dug out the latest picture I have of her that Grandpa had given us so that I could do a comparison. Absolutely no doubt! So I lifted the pic and printed it out.

Of course Classmates.com wanted me to join before I could send her a note. But what does cost matter in a time like this? I didn't even have to think about it. Excitedly and impatiently, I entered my billing info and went through the joining process saying, "Come on, come ON!"

Finally, I returned to her profile and clicked on "compose a message." Then I froze. What do I say? Will she think I'm a nut-case? Does anyone actually check back on their Classmates page?

Oh well, I wouldn't find out if I didn't try. So I wrote her a brief note, telling her who I am and asking her to get in touch with me and gave her my FB, MySpace, Blog, and email information. Clicked send. And waited. Irrationally, I expected an instant reply. After all, this is the age of instant gratification - instant messages, instant food, news-as-it's-happening.

What if she doesn't want to talk to me? What if her dad had trashed talked our mother so badly she didn't want anything to do with us? What if I just brought up old feelings that she would rather forget? What if...?

Of course I did FB & MySpace searches using her Classmates name and found her on both. Her MySpace photos were open so I spent many hours looking at all of them. Checked out her "friends" trying to figure out who was who.

How I wanted to send her an "add" to my "friends" but I also wanted her to give her space to think and take it in. So I waited, and waited, and waited...

Two days later she signed my guestbook but hadn't yet replied. So I sent another note thinking she might want proof. I listed all our siblings and maternal grandparents by full names, and to top it off, mentioned her dad's name.

Finally on the 10th, she wrote back. I read and re-read it, printed it out, and re-read again. The start of a family healing.

June 12th, 2010 Since then, we have gotten together on the phone and through chat, through mail and email. She is now "friends" with the rest of our family on FB.

Someday, I'd like to meet her in person...