October

I don’t like October.  Everything that was really traumatic in my life has happened in October, or so it seems. 

A car wreck at age 18 that hurt my best friend and prompted me into making (in hindsight) undesirable and life altering decisions.

Husband choosing alcohol over me at age 34.

I could go on…but those two stand out as the major October evils.  There have been many minor events; getting stranded because of auto failure, being laid off, computer crashing with important (what else?) data lost, etc.

I wouldn’t doubt if at age 5, it was October that I became a “foster kid.”  I remember riding in the back seat of a car and wearing a dress but since it was in CA, it may very well have been October.  I do know that it was October that I was once again, a “foster kid” at age 13.

Fighting depression at the beginning of October has been a yearly event for as long as I can remember. Each year it becomes more and more of a struggle and I fear that I may lose this annual battle.  As September dawns and all the greenery of Summer turns golden and the pumpkins get fat with pulp, nature gives the impression of a golden, rich and abundant future.  But then October advances…

As the night temperature drops so does my spirit.  Every October, every year.

Considering that this is an election year and November approaches…

I vote we have no Octobers…